Why Did the Vampire Cross The Road? - Chapter 3 - DingusMacgoo - Harry Potter (2024)

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

Integra, Seras and Schrodinger stood there amongst the dead wizards, ash piles and rapidly decaying greater demon corpses holding onto Harry for dear life. Harry was barely able to contain himself until Voorg stomped over and waited for his moment to speak.

“Boss, you got orders?” Voorg asked.

“Return with the Kashmir to Hellsing and wait, please. We'll find our own way.” Harry said.

“You got it.” Voorg said, taking his leave.

“Let's get back to Hellsing, Zorin and Rip don't know what's up.” Harry said.

“We sent them through to the Manor, with the girls.” Integra said.

“Even better.” Harry said, apparating the four of them to the entrance at the manor. When they arrived, Harry picked up Integra and they all ran blindingly fast up the stairs and down the hall until they stood outside of the nursery, where they could hear Zorin crying.

“f*ck..” Harry said.

“Harry?!” Zorin cried, immediately crossing the room and ripping the door off its hinges.

“Huh... Thought I reinforced that...” Harry said with a grin.

“You did!” Zorin cried before launching herself at Harry who had levatated himself a foot in the air to meet her.

“You bastard!” Rip cried, joining her. Harry chuckled as he could hear the babies start crying.

“Hi girls.” Harry said over Zorin's shoulder.

“Harry? Why is your hair so much longer?” Rip asked. Harry's shoulders slumped.

“It's a long story, and I can tell you're hungry, Zorin. Come on, after everyone's eaten I'll tell you.” Harry said.

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Half an hour or so later they sat, Harry uncaring of the four pairs of puncture wounds on his neck and arms which were healing rapidly, sipped a cup of tea, savoring it.

“Time is a funny thing...” Harry said.

“Oh no...” Integra said. Harry nodded at her.

When my body passed through the portal, the first thing I noticed is that the zeppelin wasn't moving. I looked through the the rear windows at the part of the zeppelin still on this side, and saw the propellers were just barely turning, it didn't take me long to put two and two together. It only took a few hours to break through the rune traps, and when I did I left the ship and started exploring.

The other side is weird. At least the part I showed up in. It looked a lot like the Grand Canyon. Arid, lots of hills and plateaus, sparse vegetation. I figured the zeppelin wasn't going any where so I made my way out looking to see if I could find civilization. Then.. I did.” Harry said.

“The Infernals?” Seras asked. Harry nodded.

“Chained up like animals, breaking rocks with pickaxes. There was this big troll-looking motherf*cker snapping a whip at them, found out later they're called ogres, probably the inspiration for the old fantasy trope. I killed it, and freed the Infernals, and they explained their situation. The Greater demons are puppets, being controlled by an upper class of Infernals to exploit the 'lower class' Infernals.” Harry said.

“I liberated the camp they were based out of and we took to the cave system in the canyon near where the Kashmir was stuck in the portal. They told me that a being on the other side had made a deal with the Upper Class Infernals, promising to usher them through to the 'promised land' but not until Humanity has been subjugated. It took a long time but I managed to win their trust and they helped me outfit the Kashmir with new weapons, armor, and helped me build the new engine.” Harry explained.

“I noticed the new armor, can it really protect the ship against the monsters?” Integra asked. Harry shook his head.

“No, the Infernals are sensitive to radiation, and our sun is very intense. More than an hour or so in direct sunlight is dangerous to them.” Harry said. Seras groaned and Harry grinned.

“So... it needs to shield against radiation.... It's name is Kashmir... you made a lead zeppelin, didn't you?” Seras asked. Harry giggled and nodded.

“Hermione is going to smack you.” Integra said, unable to hide her grin.

“After all this time I'll welcome it.” Harry said.

“How long was it on the other side?” Seras asked. Harry frowned.

“Anyone catch the the harpies game?” Harry asked.

“Harry...” Integra said. Harry sighed and his gaze fell to the floor.

“Two years.” Harry said quietly.

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Thaelynn Stonebrook boarded the Kashmir, completely unconcerned about the dangerous looking crew, inspecting the inner workings and excitedly taking notes.

“How does the main engine work?” Thaeylnn asked.

“Harry said they work similarly to your jet engines, except fueled by magic instead of jet fuel.” Rakka, the Chief Engineer amongst the Infernals said, adopting a slower stride to avoid losing her.

“Interesting...” Thaelynn said, scratching notes on a notepad.

“Tell me, Dwarf, why are you not afraid of us?” Rakka asked. Thaelynn looked up from her notepad and shrugged.

“When you spend as much time with Harry and Alucard as I have, beings of literally apocalyptic levels of power, it takes a lot to freak you out.” Thaelynn said, before smirking.

“Knowing what they'd do to anyone who would dare to harm me is also a factor.” Thaelynn said. Rakka laughed.

“I'm glad. Harry warned us that most people around here would fear us.” Rakka said.

“You vaguely resemble what they think evil creatures from some of their religious lore would look like. So many people think they're on the side of good, but tend to act otherwise. Iscariot is a great example of that, though there were those amongst them that were truly decent.” Thaelynn said.

“Anderson, right?” Rakka asked, opening up a control panel and gesturing for Thaelynn to look.

“Yes, and his friends, Yumie, Yumiko and Heinkel. Good people, though definitely keep a wide berth until Harry gets a chance to chat with them. Anderson is strong enough to fight Alucard to a standstill unless Integra lets him off the leash.” Thaelynn said, carefully pulling a wire bundle aside to expose a mechanism underneath.

“Why don't you put these wires in conduit? A harsh enough bump might knock them into the mechanism and break them.” Thaelynn asked.

“We're planning on completely redoing those wire runs, a lot of this is sh*tty Millennium design.” Rakka said. Thaelynn nodded and stepped back, wiping sweat off her brow.

“So, I don't see a lot of other women here.” Thaelynn observed. Rakka grinned.

“Not a lot of us pursue engineering, most of the women on the crew are warriors. They're probably on the ground helping Harry's forces scour the forest.” Rakka said, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms.

“Do those work?” Thaelynn asked, gesturing at Rakka's wings.

“Mine don't. I can use them to glide short distances, but they're too small for flight, but we have jetpacks for that.” Rakka said.

“Jetpacks?!?” Thaelynn asked excitedly. Rakka laughed and gestured for her to follow, which she did. Rakka lead her to an armory filled with strange looking weapons, and dull-gray plated armor of all sizes including two huge suits which seemed to have mechanical components underneath the armor plating.

“Wow you wouldn't see this stuff on one of our subs.” Thaelynn said, marveling at the items.

“What's a sub?” Rakk asked.

“Submarine. It's a ship that goes under the water.” Thaelynn explained. Rakka's eyes widened.

“Harry said there was a lot of water on this world, is there really so much you can sail ships underneath the surface?” Rakka asked.

“Most of the world is covered in water, though most of it is too salty to drink. We have to process it first.” Thaelynn said.

“Gods...” Rakka said.

“Not a lot where you're from?” Thaelynn asked. Rakka shook her head.

“No, that's part of the reason they want to cross over to this world so much. Dehydration was an inevitability until Harry came to us.” Rakka said. Thaelynn nodded.

“Wizards can conjure water. Shame they can't conjure food.” Thaelynn said.

“No, but he gave us so much water we could grow more than enough to sustain ourselves. If the Highborn ever found out how much we had we'd have been doomed. Water is power back there.” Rakka said.

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Harry crept out of bed, his legs wobbling and a ridiculous smile on his face. It was around three in the morning and he was desperately in need of food and drink. He'd tried to make up for two years in one night, and felt they'd done an admirable job. Thankfully, Integra had offered to watch Nicole for the night. Harry had left her with more than enough blood, and Integra's breast milk was perfectly suitable for both babies, as was Seras'.

“Harry...” Alucard said, poking his head around the corner just as Harry left his room.

“What's up?” Harry said. Alucard produced a pair of scissors and grinned.

“Time for a hair cut, hippie.” Alucard said. Harry laughed and followed him down the hall, after grabbing a plate of his beloved blueberry muffins, and a glass of grapefruit juice. Harry sat in a chair and placed his food on the table while Alucard got to work.

“Two years, eh?” Alucard said.

“Yeah. It was awful.” Harry said.

“Well to immortals like us, two years isn't really that bad.” Alucard said.

“Two years away from Seras... away from my babies...” Harry said trailing off.

“Ah... yes that is worse.” Alucard said.

“For the next few weeks it's going to take an act of god to pry me away from any of you guys. The Infernals are great people, and good friends, but you lot are my family.” Harry said. Alucard was touched, but refused to make any indication of that.

“Why did it take so long?” Alucard asked.

“The first few months we were waiting for the ass end of the ship to make it out of the portal, once that was done, the crystals that powered the portal had to recharge. Normally that takes twenty years of direct sunlight, but I was able to speed it up a little. While we waited, we overhauled the Kashmir and made it safe for my new crew.” Harry said.

“I'd have gone with Black Dog.” Alucard said grinning.

“Hah! I knew you'd get it. Nah, I didn't want Sirius to get big-headed about it.” Harry said.

“What's your next step?” Alucard asked.

“I placed one end of one of my portals inside their old headquarters and tomorrow I'm going to Antarctica to build the other end and connect it.” Harry said.

“Why Antarctica?” Alucard asked.

“My portals don't have the same restrictions as theirs, they wont' require a group of wizards chanting on one end, and the Infernals couldn't survive the cold of a Scottish winter let alone Antarctica. It's an insurance policy.” Harry said.

“Why build it at all though?” Alucard asked.

“The crew comprises a small percentage of the resistance. The rest remain in stasis on the other side. I'll bring them through, bury the portal under a glacier, and bring them back to England to wake them up. They're willing to help us because we're going up against their old masters and their allies.” Harry said.

“Are you sure that's wise? How many of them are there?” Alucard asked.

“Quarter of a million, give or take.” Harry said, ruthlessly surpressing the urge to shrug, given that Vlad the Impaler was currently holding razor-sharp scissors very close to a lot of his vital blood vessels.

“Jesus..” Alucard said.

“We need an army. Their former masters plan to send twenty times that through if we can't stop them. Thankfully their slave army is pretty weak and unskilled.” Harry said.

“Five million?!?” Alcuard shouted.

“Shh! The girls are sleeping!” Harry said.

“Sorry. Still, that's insane!” Alucard said.

“That's nothing compared to the hundreds of those behemoths they're preparing to unleash. Thankfully they're nowhere near ready to do that. It'll take at least a thousand years on their end to prepare everything, so in the meantime they're taking pot shots to try and test our resolve, and hopefully soften us up.” Harry said.

“So a thousand years there....” Alucard said

“Around four months here.” Harry said.

“Bugger.” Alucard said.

“Bugger indeed.” Harry said.

Why Did the Vampire Cross The Road? - Chapter 3 - DingusMacgoo - Harry Potter (2024)
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